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She did not give us any kind of warning that the dresses she is considering are so expensive.I’m working, but spending ,000 plus on a dress that I will wear for less than one day (not even) and then never wear it again (it is beautiful, but it is bridal) is an expense I cannot justify.I’m told the costs were closer to ,000 for the bridesmaid dresses when alterations, accessories, and shoes were included.As the only non-family member of the original wedding party, her in-laws did not offer to pay for my dress, so I bowed out.Should I have told her my limits re: the cost of the dress?She also told me that I was not welcome at her wedding.I pulled her aside and told her that I would have to back out of being a bridesmaid, and I told her WHY (that I cannot afford the dress she chose, nor the shoes, the accessories, alterations, and more).I told her that I would be happy to participate in another way (perhaps do a reading), and if that wasn’t possible, then I would be content to be a guest.

I know that being a member of the wedding party is expensive.The bride pitched a fit, told me that I was “uninvited” to her wedding since I obviously didn’t love her, and that was that.She had her big, bashy royal wedding, and I stayed home.It’s your obligation to keep your finances in check and be vocal if some obligation is stretching you too thin. You say your friend had the same financial background as you before meeting this guy, but I’m wondering if she just cannot relate to “not being able to afford it.” Even folks who consider themselves on the same financial page are usually in very different places.In trying very hard (so very hard) to give the benefit of the doubt here, I’m thinking maybe she just cannot fathom how you can’t afford this dress, and assumes that means you’re prioritizing other things above her wedding (which you are—rent and food and electricity).

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