Dating a loser carver
The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative.
But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.
It signals shallowness of emotions rather than strength of love.
He elaborates, “Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake… Carver states that Losers often begin with indirect violence—such as demonstratively hitting the wall with their fist or throwing objects—before they start pushing, punching or hitting their partners.
The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause the Loser to detach from you as quickly as they committed.” Which is exactly what Drew Peterson (and others like him) did after seducing each of his partners. The physical outbursts towards inanimate objects function as a form of intimidation.
If they were consistently mean or violent, psychopaths wouldn’t be able to hold on to their partners. Carver observes, “The Loser cycles from mean to sweet and back again.
The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean.
You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor.
Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous.
The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship.